Funny work status For Whatsapp & Facebook

Funny work status For Whatsapp & Facebook

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.

 At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, If you fall asleep at work again you're fired.

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.

Nothing ruins a perfectly pleasant day like going to work.

   

Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.

If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do practice?

I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Wonder what Facebook employees do to waste time at work?

My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

My boss didn't know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak English.

When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.

Morning is the time when everyone is jealous of unemployed.

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Driving to work would be so much better if I didn't always end up at work.

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.

I just love waking up in the middle of the night to realize I still have time to sleep before work.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose?

When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.

A successful man continues to look for work, after he has found a job.

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

Facebook status for job selection

I applied for a job today and they ask for three references. I wrote, a dictionary, a Thesaurus, and a map.

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician

I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.

I hated my job at the fireworks factory, I got fired a lot.

A Fresh Start Requites Nothing But A Spirit To Fight From Failures.

I was going to be an optometrist, but couldn't see things clearly.
 

I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.